Kazoo transmitted disease

I hope ya'all are practicing your Rapture repentance speeches.
I know I've been harping on this a long time, but Rome didn't fall in a day.

Update, changed "deathbed" to "Rapture" because that made sense.

Posted by: Veeshir at 01:52 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Roundup: CFL rebels, OpenOffice, and a Sandwich Bag Preemie

(1) Don't call it a lightbulb -- it's a "Heatball". (English translation) That way, the regulators can't ban it, or something. Too bad GE recently shut down the last "heatball" factory in the US.

(2) OpenOffice wasn't faring well under its new corporate overlords at Oracle (which acquired Sun Microsystems, and got OOo in the package). So it's attempting to break free, going with the almost universally despised name of LibreOffice. Let's hope whatever organ Larry Ellison has in place of a heart allows him to donate the "OpenOffice.org" name back to the project.

I'm sticking with OOo 3.2.1 until somebody (either Oracle or Libre) puts out a stable version.

(3) Looks like the Democrats have made a pretty explicit decision to lie like dogs and hope that something sticks.

(4) Former SEIU boss Andy Stern is under investigation. It's about dang time.

(5) New Borg-like neural re-wiring tech for victims of traumatic brain injury. All your neurons are belong to us.

(6) UK docs improvised a sandwich bag insulator for a 26 wk preemie. Of course, this was almost a major Fail Britannia for telling a preggo woman with abdominal pain to not bother coming in to the hospital.

Miss Rowberry and her partner Lee Lacey, 24, feared she was having a miscarriage when she suffered agonising stomach pains when she was 26 weeks pregnant on the evening of June 26.

She rang the maternity suite at Worcestershire Royal Hospital in Worcester but was told it was nothing to worry about and to go back to sleep.

Later her mother Gillian called an ambulance and she was rushed to the hospital.

Who said socialized medicine would stifle innovation?!  Just MacGyver  yourself up some sammich bag insulation...

Posted by: JoeCollins at 01:04 PM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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NFL Pro Pickem Results - Week 3

Well, I should probably post these since I started it. I just can't seem to pick games in a league where the only undefeated teams are the Chiefs, Bears and Steelers.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 08:21 AM | Comments (7) | Add Comment
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Andrew Sullivan, the last True Conservative™

Okay, maybe not the last one—after all, we still have Frum, Brooks, and Parker to look toward for sage wisdom—but here's the author of The Conservative Soul talking about his fantasy date:

It's time for the sane center and the left to rally behind this president, especially given the domestic and foreign policy recklessness of the alternative.

The "alternative," I'm assuming, is a massive wave of GOP wins in the midterm elections. The "recklessness" is harder to pin down. Could it be...

Spending cuts in an era of massive, Obama-created deficits?

The repeal of a law that, for the first time in the nation's history (and, very arguably, in violation of the Constitution) would compel citizens to purchase something whether they want to or not?

The extension of tax cuts during a recession, thereby allowing business owners to grow the economy?

Kicking creeps like Barney Frank who helped to engineer the economic collapse out of office?

Making sure that a leftist pipe dream like Cap and Tax never gets near Obama's desk?

It's funny, but I get the feeling that Sullivan isn't really a conservative at all. But, then again, I'm just a nobody and I never get invited to appear on libertarian Bill Maher's show.

Posted by: Sean M. at 04:54 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Tell Me Once Again Who Is Paranoid

It sure the fuck isn't us.

CHRIS MATTHEWS, HOST: You know, a great question, Charles, that wasn't on my list to ask but I'm going to ask you because you seem like a sophisticated guy of many parts. You think business can sit on those billions and trillions of dollars for two more years after they screw Obama this time? Are they going to keep sitting on their money so they don't invest and help the economy for two long years to get Mr. Excitement Mitt Romney elected president? Will they do that to the country?

Wow. Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:21 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Woody Harrelson did it better

Apparently I'm missing out on the zombie hunting, it's about half an hour north of here.

A man accused of shooting at a Longmont police officer who was trying to arrest him says he thought he was being chased by a zombie.

Brandon Michael Duke, 22, faces charges of first-degree attempted murder, first degree assault, felony menacing, possession of a weapon by a previous offender, all felonies, and misdemeanor carrying a concealed weapon, resisting arrest, obstructing a police officer, and reckless endangerment, according to court records.

Duke pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity on Friday in court.

Really, ya think?

Posted by: Alice H at 09:44 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Who do you root for?

Okay, I can't understand this story.

Some process server tried serving divorce papers to a lady who had successfully avoided at least one other process server.

She was stuck in traffic so he pounced.
Quote
The videotape shows Bantley behind the wheel of her car. As Bellizzi stands near the front of her car, he can be heard saying, "Oksana Bantley ... Superior Court …" Bantley shields her face with her hands. But before Bellizzi finishes speaking, she can be seen apparently turning the wheel of her car toward Bellizzi and the car accelerates. The video shows Bellizzi on the hood of the speeding car for a few seconds before the tape cuts off.

So she tried to run him down. She hit him with her car and went at least a couple hundred feet with him hanging onto a windshield wiper.*

"Well that's not confusing" you say.
You should wait until I finish. Jeez, some people are so impatient.
Quote
A Denver process server has been charged with misdemeanor criminal mischief after he was run over and badly injured...

Weird. That's about a clear cut a case of adding insult to injury as you'll see outside a State dept SUV vs. Treacher.
I wonder, is she related or affiliated in some way with local police or politicians? Conversely, did he piss off the local police or politician?
That's the only thing that would make sense of this story.
Via Boortz

*Pro-tip: If this happens to you, grab the edge of the hood by the windshield with both hands spread wide and lay spread eagle on the hood while using the tops of your feet on the front of the hood to stay stable.
Trust me, I avoided serious injury once in just that manner after not avoiding minor injury a previous time. It's nearly impossible to be dislodged if you do that.

Posted by: Veeshir at 08:15 PM | Comments (14) | Add Comment
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Really, is all of this stuff that hard?

Did someone fire the entire protocol department at the State Department and no one noticed? Because, really, with such rocket surgery like displaying the Philippine flag upside down, I'm starting to think so.

As always, Dr. Sheldon Cooper says it best:

Posted by: alexthechick at 01:08 PM | Comments (11) | Add Comment
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Interesting precedent

Those crazy search suggestions that Google makes can be considered defamatory, at least in France.  Which is making me doubt their status as leaders of the conservative free world.

Next up, George Bush sues for being called a lizard and Barack Obama sues for being called the Muslim antichrist.




And as long as we're discussing random computer crap, do you think Firefox is trying to tell us something by still not including Barack or Obama in its dictionary nearly two years into his term as President?

Posted by: Alice H at 11:48 AM | Comments (12) | Add Comment
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Well...

I'm not going to say God's visiting a plague on Washington D.C., but...

Posted by: Alice H at 11:38 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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He died like he lived

Test drives are best not done near cliffs, I think.

Posted by: Alice H at 11:31 AM | Comments (4) | Add Comment
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Freedom Is Such A Quaint Term, Isn't It?

You want to know what it is like to live in a statist tyranny? Go ahead, read this post, and watch this video.



Yeah, fuck anybody who thinks that state control of our lives is an awesome deal. Freedomfuck them so hard with the megacock of liberty that the stupid leaks out onto the bedsheets in the aftermath. And synchrofuck with an off-key tuning fork anyone who even thinks of aiding the statist agenda, be they RINOs or arrogant leftists. None of them should ever be trusted with the privilege of being our representatives if they aid and abet the shit Clara escaped. And if they think we are too stupid to appreciate their awesomeness, then denturefuck them into retirement with a jar of Political Polident.

That is all.

Posted by: eddiebear at 11:42 PM | Comments (8) | Add Comment
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Even more heartbreaking

So Cowboys aren't crying and Giants are. That's a bad day in the Veeshir household. The dog is hiding under the get (update: "bed", eh, you try drinking two bottles of Delirium Temens and then spell all words corectly)  and I'm searching Korean sites for the recipe for kagogi. That'll learn 'im.

The worst part was the way the Giants beat themselves by coughing up the ball and losing their cool.
In one perfect example, a Titan smacked a Giant in the helmet.
The Giant retaliated and the Titan fell to the ground with great histrionics.

If the Giant had been a whiny bitch, he could have done the pussy thing and had the 15 yards go his way instead of the other.
And Jeff Fisher was proud. Punks. Low rent, second rate punks

Oh well, there's a reason Sidney Crosby gets paid millions of dollars a year.

I put this in L.L.A.P.H. because I have no idea what the hell that means.

Another update.
Even more heartbreakingly heartbreaking, I'm getting my ass kicked by a chick at fantasy football.
If she is a chick. I still haven't seen pics.

Posted by: Veeshir at 03:49 PM | Comments (10) | Add Comment
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Just heartbreaking

A worm that's designed to take over industrial systems is reported to have infected the PCs of workers at the new Iranian nuclear power plant.  Given that the official report is insisting that no major systems have been involved, I'm going to make a wild-assed guess that something big has been compromised.  Truly tragic.

_{And because there will be someone whose sarcasm interpreter is broken, allow me to translate.
Just heartbreaking: bwahahahahahahamwahahaha!
Truly tragic: ROFLMAOWTFOMGBBQLOL!}

Posted by: Alice H at 12:59 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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SharktoWin!

Okay, so far Sharktopus is one of the best, I'd say it's provisionally better than Pterodactyl and moving in on Megashark vs Giant Octopus.

The bungee jumping girl was funny.

It could at least have said thanks.

You could see the gold coin deal coming, but it was still funny.

Posted by: Veeshir at 08:26 PM | Comments (16) | Add Comment
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What We Are Fighting

John Kitzhaber is the Democratic Governor of Oregon.

Posted by: eddiebear at 10:22 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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Those damn sore loser RINOs strike again...

It's like a formula now:

1) GOPer loses primary.

2) Said GOPer ignores the outcome of said primary.

3) Runs as an independent or 3rd party candidate.

4) Hands an easy-to-win race to the Democrats.

C'mon, guys! UNITY!

Posted by: It's Vintage, Duh at 06:24 PM | Comments (9) | Add Comment
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....

I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation.  But people just don't understand me.

Posted by: Moron Pundit at 04:42 PM | Comments (17) | Add Comment
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What's the conversion for BTUs to caliber?

Now that's how you handle a "situation".
Our story begins when Boy "finds" a lighter on way to school and sticks it into his pocket.
Eh, I don't trust little boys on general principle, I used to be one. If he wasn't lying, he should have been. But that doesn't really matter to the rest of the story.
Someone ratted him out, probably a girl, the teacher's pet one. You know her. Diane.

So they suspended him for carrying a weapon to school.
Dad says, "Hey, that's not a weapon".
School says (probably with a fantastically arrogant sneer) that anything that can harm someone is a weapon.
Oh, and they called the cops on the kid so they came into the school looking for a weapon (I'm sure they were all subdued about it).
Now here's where we all have the urge to show the school exactly what a weapon looks like. But that gets you talked about.

Our hero did something even better.
Quote
After discussing the matter with school officials in person, Halpin contacted police, alerting them that there were weapons on school property, asserting that teachers had lighters in the building.

Okay, that's all about the funny.
Via Da Joisey Noos Room via I Own the World (which, if he does, he needs to fix it)

Posted by: Veeshir at 03:41 PM | Comments (5) | Add Comment
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Waaaaaant

Posted by: alexthechick at 01:25 PM | Comments (6) | Add Comment
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